Cert – 15, Run-time – 1 hour 47 minutes, Director – Peter Farrelly

Brad (Mark Wahlberg) and Elijah (Paul Walter Hauser) secure and then lose a major World Cup sponsorship deal for a condom company. Things go from bad to worse when they fall in with a drug gang after causing the host country to lose the final.

After winning the Best Picture Oscar for The King’s Speech Tom Hooper moved on to tackle Les Miserables even before Cats. Yet, Cats still makes some sense as a major film to tackle after winning one of the biggest prizes the film industry has to offer. Whatever you may think about Green Book, it, too, managed to secure Best Picture, and director Peter Farrelly’s career appears to have been going back towards the comedies that he started out making with brother Bobby. While The Greatest Beer Run Ever and Ricky Stanicky gained generally admirable receptions his latest streaming feature; Balls Up, which finds itself landing quietly on Amazon Prime, will undoubtedly be one of the worst films of the year.

Star Mark Wahlberg has turned against Boogie Nights more and more over the years, talking about his regret over taking on the role of porn star Dirk Diggler due to his faith, and family. Faith and family, however, don’t get in the way of him playing out a scene where his character forces a condom, with additional pouch for testicles, stuffed with cocaine down his throat. The scene in which this happens isn’t a short one, either. It’s one of many extended moments that feel around ten minutes too long as things go from bad to worse for two former condom marketing employees.

Wahlberg’s Brad and Paul Walter Hauser’s Elijah are fired after securing and losing a deal for their brand of condoms to sponsor the Brazilian World Cup. Yet, tickets turn up for the final and when getting drunk during the game one runs into the pitch and accidentally loses the game for the host country, causing the population to turn against the pair. From there they run in with a drug gang led by Sacha Baron Cohen (whose performance is largely ‘he’s doing a voice’) and have to try and escape every overlong situation they find themselves in. Each drawn out in both the edit and Zombieland and Deadpool duo Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick’s screenplay; as if trying to bleed the driest of stones of any humour before giving up and having to scramble to move on to the next skit.

For just under two hours I sat bearing through multiple jokes about condoms or drugs, or both, as the film’s humour opens with Wahlberg showing anatomical diagrams of a penis and vagina to a group of executives as part of a pitch meeting. At no point did I come close to laughing during what becomes an increasingly monotonous attempt at crude humour. One that can’t really be labelled as gross-out or any other kind of comedy sub-genre, maybe farce could fit the film but the frantic, layered events you would expect from this are certainly not present here. Instead, crude appears to be the main focus, and it doesn’t take off much beyond that, aside from forcing its attempted jokes on you, as if shouting not to compensate for the lack of laughs but as if part of the joke is shouting.

Dullness and frustration combine for a truly enjoyable experience. One which makes Green Book (which I liked) seem delicately subtle in its approach. One can only assume that in a few years time Wahlberg will also come out to express regret over this role too, and this time not just because of his family and faith.

A dismal near two hours of laugh-free gags that feels that crude shouting is enough to see through multiple unfunny situations, all of which are forced on too long. This is a balls up far beyond just name.

Cert – 18, Run-time – 2 hours 13 minutes, Director – Lee Cronin

When their missing daughter is found after eight years, having been trapped in a sarcophagus, Charlie (Jack Reynor) and Larissa (Laia Costa) confront demonic attacks and goings on from the girl (Natalie Grace) who has returned.

Writer-director Lee Cronin has walked the indie chiller with 2019’s eerie The Hole In The Ground, and the up-to-eleven splatter fest of Evil Dead Rise. For his third feature he leans more into the supernatural and possession horror of the latter with the creepy child vein of his debut. Yet, his take on The Mummy feels lost in a mainstream studio vein. Only brief glimpses of his directorial style come through, and not even in the 18-rated blood and gore as such instances largely have little effect. One or two shots looking at practical effects can induce a small shudder, but for the most part there’s nothing anywhere near to the cheese-grater attack in Evil Dead Rise.

However, the biggest issues of Cronin’s film is in his screenplay which cycles through the same routine for much of the overlong narrative. Parents Charlie (Jack Reynor) and Larissa (Laia Costa) have spent eight years grieving their daughter (Emily Mitchell) after she was kidnapped in Cairo. However, when she’s found after a plane crash, trapped in a sarcophagus and wrapped in bandages (and now played by Natalie Grace), she’s taken back to the family home in Albuquerque, bringing some demonic goings on with her. All whilst Egyptian police (largely portrayed by May Calamawy) investigate Katie’s disappearance, and what happened to her.

Characters come in and out of the narrative, including a lecturer (Mark Mitchinson) investigating ancient script found wrapped around Katie, and each seems to strike a different tone with their scenes. It makes for an uneven film that starts to throw everything at the wall the more horror comes into play, particularly in a chaotic third act where nothing really sticks. Even before this a strange set of events sees the possession break out into a quiet gathering, where nobody questions the fact that the ceiling right above the buffet is falling apart with a ghoulish child crawling through it, or that the youngest of the family is casually pulling out her teeth.

There’s little impact or edge from what we see on screen, which consistently feels toned down from being as insane as it occasionally hints that it wants to be. Not on the same level as an Evil Dead, but certainly something with a more sinister and itching style to what we’re presented with here. When not pushing away a sense of boredom I couldn’t help but fight the feeling that this was a film that wanted to be more, wanted to do more and be that bit more intense but was being held back by something, and in this case it felt like a studio – the film is largely pushed under the production houses of producers James Wan and Jason Blum.

With just how much is going on and the different characters who jump in and out of the narrative the structure starts to feel jumbled, and makes the 133-minute run-time feel just that way. Starting to drag, especially as it tries to wrap up its various different threads individually, and starts to explore different endings. It all feels a bit messy and in search of itself, with only a few brief, crawling insights into a more fearful horror.

A jumbled, tonally uneven narrative makes way for only brief glimpses of effective creeps in a film that feels dampened by a poor script focusing on repetitive events which lean more generic than gruesome.

Cert – 15, Run-time – 1 hour 34 minutes, Director – Ian Tuason

Paranormal podcast host Evy (Nina Kiri) looks after her mum (Michelle Duquet) during the day and records with co-host Justin (Adam DiMarco) at 3am, however a series of mysterious ghostly recordings start to plague her even more than tiredness.

Undertone is upfront about the fact that it’s going to be playing with your mind, and how. Telling us about how the mind can hear things that aren’t there in recordings, especially when reversed, there’s a lot in the reversed audio tracks which crop up throughout the film. It’s also about hearing these tracks alone, and the creeping feeling of a darkened room.

Evy (Nina Kiri on great form) sits alone at a dining room table, microphone connected to her laptop and on Facetime to her friend Justin (Adam DiMarco – who we only ever hear). They have a paranormal podcast where believer Justin tries to convince sceptic Evy of ghostly occurrences and existence. When sent an email containing ten mysterious recordings the pair play them and try to work out what’s happening, however as they’re whittled down ghostly goings on start to happen around Evy.

Already tired from recording at 3am after a day looking after her bedbound mother (Michelle Duquet) she starts to hear noises around the house, and the feeling that she’s not alone crawls further into frame. Kiri is often positioned as a small figure in an empty-feeling room, dwarfed by the surroundings and dark corners of what should be a familiar environment. However, there’s little comfort to be found. The more we hear of the mysterious audio that starts as a couple (the voices of Keana Lyn Bastidas and Jeff Yung) innocently trying to prove that one talks in their sleep the more uneasy, and eventually fearful, things become. Writer-director Ian Tuason, alongside the precision of the sound team, creates a chilling, genuinely tense horror.

Escalation is done bit by bit and yet with a fast pace to perfectly fit in to the 94 minute run-time. The increase in unease and fear is consistent throughout leading to a finale that may not strike for everyone, and could well come across as uneven in its presentation, but certainly lands an effect in the very final stages. One that fits in with just how things have ramped up over the course of the rest of the film. I was taken in by Undertone and its creeping developments; well-tracked by the general progression and pacing of the narrative, and clips that we hear played for the podcast. It’s a stripped-back horror that plays with your mind and ears, and let’s you know it upfront.

A film that visually and audibly creeps up on you through the effectively grown developments, Undertone is a chilling horror that lands a real effect from what might not even be there.

Cert – 15, Run-time – 1 hour 51 minutes, Director – Jim Jarmusch

Three separate families try to cope and connect through varying degrees of distance and estrangement.

The performances of Father Mother Sister Brother are a key part of its success, the most important factor of them is how they work hand-in-hand with Jim Jarmusch’s observation. His camera looks on, and sometimes over, at three interactions between different families all trying to cope with distance, estrangement and loss. Words are struggled for, whether through grief, awkwardness or regret. The silences hang thick, the attempts to find something to say wish for it to be brought back. It’s a film of gentle, natural sorrow at the familial situations on display, yet one that avoids downbeat drudgery.

The three segments feel almost perfectly ordered to become more compelling and affecting than the last. Brother and sister Jeff (Adam Driver) and Emily (Mayim Bialik) visit their elderly father (a fantastic Tom Waits) in his shabby home, making various toasts as their check in becomes a reluctant reconnection while questioning how well he is these days. Mother (as Charlotte Rampling’s credit simply reads) prepares an annual afternoon tea for her two daughters Lilith (Vicky Krieps) and Timothea (Cate Blanchett), the conversation is kept to pleasantries about how good the tea tastes and somewhat forced interest in the goings on of each other as at least one daughter is looking for an easy escape. There’s a very wry humour to some of the reaching attempts at conversation. Unease sits in the room with the three as they silently acknowledge a tradition that has almost always been like this.

Then, siblings Skye (Indya Moore) and Billy (Luka Sabbat) roam Paris talking about memories of their parents who passed in a plane crash, before going over old photos and possessions. Their segment closes the film with tenderness and care. It’s an open dialogue that grows over the roughly half-an-hour we’re in the presence of their characters, almost revelatory compared to the lack of proper discussion that’s come from the characters in the previous two interactions. The actions and moments themselves have said a good deal, but the characters at least verbally not so much until this point.

Yet, Jarmusch continues to remain observant as director. So much of his latest set of vignettes is about what isn’t said, whether through not being allowed or simply not being able to, rather than what is. The cast wear so much behind their faces, in their eyes and pauses that speaks volumes and makes for an engaging and interesting drama about estranged families all looking for different forms of connection. The pacing is slow, only really impacting the first story which certainly feels more like set-up the more things go on, including call-backs to beats and dialogue in the pair that follow.

Feeling the emotions of the characters may not be the case, it might not be intended to be, but there’s still something to be felt in both the interaction and lack of it throughout the film. One that, even with the slow pacing, passes by rather easily thanks to the engagement with the situations at hand. As each is examined without the feeling of an intense dive, the moments are allowed to naturally exist and play out as they are. Making for awkwardness and comfort to feel even more the case. All calmly and empathetically observed by Jarmusch and the audience.

An observant, empathetic look at estranged familial relationships, from the distant to the healing there’s a lot said in what isn’t said here, with help from a set of fine performances the segments grow and get better as the film goes on.

Release Date – TBC, Cert – 15, Run-time – 1 hour 24 minutes, Director – Daniel Everitt-Lock

Documentary looking at the environmental and human impact of nuclear weapons testing, and the campaigns for recognition for those who have been affected by it.

There’s a good deal of footage put into the 84-minute run-time of Our Planet, The People, My Blood. From talking head interviews and news clips to old public safety reels, cartoons and historical footage there’s a lot put in to try and show the responses to nuclear weapons testing, and the effects that it’s had. The problem is, much of the weight there is comes from the interviews and the details we hear described rather than old images used to back them up, which the film could do with less of.

Starting out as a film about the environmental impacts of such testing, and how it’s affected the health of those who have been near to it across the world, it moves into showing the campaign made to MPs to recognise those whose lives were negatively changed by such tests and weapons. In these stories the film finds its biggest call. It feels most enthused and gives its biggest push to the sequence of events that focuses most on this.

There’s still a push to the details building up to this, looking at the personal affects and losses that the subject matter has caused individuals and their families, there’s interest and a sympathetic emotion from the documentary towards those displayed by the people featured in it. Certainly, getting a number of perspectives from around the world helps it along, and covers different views and impacts. It just feels that occasionally they can get somewhat overpowered by the images that are placed over them. Every now and then they work, but the more they’re used the less effective such inclusions become, especially when the effect on a landscape is being discussed, for example.

Luckily, the figures we see talking on screen and campaigning have a passion and drive that helps to see things through. Their stories and lives are the focus, and when the film properly gets this in gear it finds its stride and moves forward with a solid push to see it through.

While there might be a bit too much historical footage and images overpowering the words being said, when Our Planet puts the focus on those at the heart of the campaign and matters at hand there’s an interesting documentary with a handful of working pushes.

Cert – 15, Run-time – 1 hour 24 minutes, Director – Jonah Hill

Since childhood Reef Hawk (Keanu Reeves) has been a beloved and acclaimed star, having gone quiet for a few years he’s making a big return, unless a mysterious video from his past will stop it. Can an apology tour prevent damage before any is done?

Outcome is a film that takes the stance of ‘maybe we shouldn’t jump to conclusions so quickly about cancelled stars’ and to some extent raises the question ‘do these people ever really remain cancelled?’ It also happens to be co-written and directed by Jonah Hill, or more rather the Jonah Hill of around 15 years ago, having found a career in stoner comedies.

His view of Hollywood’s cancellation process sees him playing the lawyer to Keanu Reeves’ movie star lead Reef Hawk. Hawk has been a major player for decades, since appearing on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show as a child he’s maintained fame and adoration, also gaining two Oscars, with very few problems. He may have recently taken some time off to deal with addiction, but nobody seems to have noticed. However, what could cause problems is a mysterious video that an anonymous source claims to have, one that could ruin his image. At the insistence of lawyer Ira – whose offices hold giant pictures of Bill Clinton and Kevin Spacey – he embarks on an apology tour, whilst trying to find out what the video is and who it’s from.

Hill’s stoner humour often seems forced. It feels like the script is intentionally trying to go for shock value with not very shocking material. What’s actually present is a set of somewhat flat characters recycling jokes from years gone by – Cameron Diaz and Matt Bomer as Reef’s rambling, clichéd friends particularly stand out as suffering from a lack of successful laughs, becoming quickly tiresome. This isn’t to say that the film is void of humour, one or two quick asides get a slight chuckle but there are prominent gaps between them, and a lot that falters. Largely feeling like each scene, or character, is just a new idea for an SNL sketch.

There’s a stale feeling of tiredness to the film that starts to feel like Hill is trying to make a point of his own return – having been labelled as cancelled himself in the past after allegations of abuse – or premature jumps in Hollywood to protect itself, and its stars. It all sits oddly with the directions the film goes in, and always feels as if changes and a sharper, more satirical nature could make it a strong film, one a bit more tongue-in-cheek. Unfortunately, that’s not how Outcome sits, as it places itself outside of a proper genuine feeling for both laughs and overall narrative. It all feels a rather odd endeavour.

Calling back to not-so-edgy stoner humour, there’s no real shock value to any of Outcome as it never really does anything convincing in a comedy that feels like a selection of outdated SNL sketches than anything sharp.

Cert – 12, Run-time – 1 hour 58 minutes, Director – Sergei Loznitsa

Russia, 1937, a young prosecutor (Alexander Kuznetsov) arrives at a prison to investigate corruption in Stalin’s secret police across the USSR.

Two Prosecutors is a film all about torment. Viewed sternly, it’s a cold, itching drama that draws out its details. Much of the film, in fact, is constructed with a handful of lengthy conversations and monologues, each delving deeper into the corruption of Stalin’s secret police and a spree of forced false confessions.

The camera remains still and targeted throughout the interactions of young prosecutor Kornyev (Alexander Kuznetsov). Examining the faces of the few characters, almost entirely viewing in close-ups – sometimes forced to due to the cramped nature of train compartments, offices and cells. There’s a hollowness to the drab decoration but not the content of the film which is almost fuelled on the fear and dread that Kornyev learns about, particularly through prisoner Stepniak (Aleksandr Filippenko delivering a standout turn which grinds the fear into place in captivating fashion). It’s through Stepniak that Kornyev learns of possible corruption – claims that prisons are being used for murder and torture to allow for control from Stalin loyalists.

While some of the segments that we see can sometimes feel a slight step down when it comes to the thematic weight being dealt with it may only be because of the excellence of some that come before that – such as Filippenko’s monologues, largely confined to one scene when Kuznetsov looks on and asks very little, his face wearing concern. The face of the film is one that’s targeted, taking specific aim; keeping its coldness. There’s a chance of sections to feel stage-like, and while based on a novella of the same name there’s occasional feeling of a play adaptation here, but the closeness provided by the camera in certain spaces steps away from this somewhat. Making for a personal, occasionally haunting and creeping drama that finds the dread and fear of the corruption at hand through simple up-close discussion.

A film of close-up conversations and monologues that captures dread and fear of torture and corruption through some great performances, Two Prosecutors is a great piece of cold drama.

Cert – Recommended age 16+, Run-time – 1 hour 49 minutes, Director – BenDavid Grabinski

Gangster Mike (James Marsden) wants out of his lifestyle, when colleague Nick (Vince Vaughn) comes to his door he thinks it’s to confront him about Mike’s affair with his wife (Eiza González). It’s not. Nick’s come from the future to save Mike.

It can be easy to judge a perfectly fine film too harshly. It’s certainly the trap I fell into when first watching Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice. On first viewing I was expecting, and hoping for, more laughs; I found some of the extended riffs a bit odd and generally didn’t get into the film. Yet, the general consensus was that the film was fine, and watching it I did feel like I was missing something. The simple fact of the matter was that I was being too sniffy. On a re-watch the film is indeed perfectly fine, and those extended riffs – largely based around Gilmore Girls – when embracing the style of a film that has a slight made-for-streaming feel (it finds itself direct to Disney+ and Hulu), have a couple of chuckles here.

A time travel action comedy that doesn’t get bogged down in the time travel, we see gangster Mike (James Marsden) looking to get out of his lifestyle, perhaps with the wife of fellow gang member Nick (Vince Vaughn) – Eiza González’s Alice. However, when Nick turns up at Mike’s door one night he fears the worst, however Nick reveals that he’s from the future and is here to save Mike who’s meant to die that night. After knocking out the Present Nick (also Vaughn) and bringing along Alice, the four try to evade being caught by gang leader Keith David and thick-drink-enjoyer Jimmy Boy (Jimmy Tatro).

As forces close in or try to escape there are patches of likable humour scattered here and there. The cast for the most part are trying to lean into the humour of their characters even if the film itself doesn’t always seem to do so. There’s a tendency for some sequences, especially with the action aspects that are at play, to be treated straighter than perhaps they should be in terms of the tone and style of the moment. While the film may not get bogged down in the time travel elements it’s certainly still quite narratively focused and tries to keep things moving at all times, even with flashbacks and side characters. Sometimes this does mean that it feels as if pushing things along is put ahead of laughs, and not all the tangential moments quite click, especially more drawn-out beats involving brief appearances from supporting characters but for the most part things still manage to move along well enough.

As mentioned, Mick & Nick & Nick & Alice is a perfectly fine straight-to-streaming action-comedy. There are a few mild chuckles scattered along the way and the cast try their best to bring out the laughs even if the surroundings of a scene don’t always allow for them to come through, but the film as a whole is likable and watchable streaming fate. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing and shouldn’t be looked down upon. It shouldn’t be poked at or made to seem like it’s something lower just because of that. It’s still solid and good enough for what it does, and sometimes that’s what you need. Sometimes we (in this case I) need to be reminded of that, and that pretentiousness should be avoided as best as possible.

A perfectly fine and amusing action-comedy, if one that sometimes prioritises consistent plot references over laughs, Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice doesn’t always tonally match the comedic performances of the cast, and feels made for streaming, but it still makes for likable fare with a scattering of chuckles along the way.